Tag: theidealistmerchant

To Mistakes, Regrets and Everything Above!

“There is always that One Stupid Mistake, That Changes Everything!”

Today morning while I was deciding to pen something to keep my readers and myself spirited on hopes and idealism. This time I thought to connect on something which is probably an everyday story to all of us. Let us understand that we have to stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right!

Every day we all struggle, and it does happen that struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If you were to go through your life without any obstacles, you would be disabled and crippled. Probably, we would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance! Believe me; the reward is not so great without any struggle story.

During our struggle, we do make mistakes! Alexander Pope quoted “TO ERR IS HUMAN”! We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But, we are not only our mistakes, or struggles; we are here in NOW holding the power to shape our day and future. Treat your mistakes as your teacher instead of attacker. Treat all your mistakes as it is more than loss, a lesson; a necessary detour and not the dead end.

Though there is no doubt about the fact that most of our mistakes, the big ones at least, are the result of allowing emotion to overrule logic. We knew the right choice but didn’t obey I guess. It is courage and acceptance that making mistakes is a factual thing but response to errors that count.

Regrets and Mistakes Are Memories! Accept everything about yourself – I mean EVERYTHING, We are who we become in the beginning or even at the end. In life all of us have done things – some we wish we had never done and some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But you all of these things actually makes us who we are, and shape us with detail. If we reverse any of it, I doubt we would the same person that we are. So I advise, just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories but never ever give a second thought what are you and who you have been. I wish all of us from today start living before we are old enough to be wild and stupid. Let us understand we have to learn from it, we are humans and if we try, well, mistakes shall happen.

Don’t allow yourself to be defined by things you did or didn’t do in your past; Maybe you Regret, maybe you don’t – it merely something that happen, Get Over It!  

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Larger Than Life!

Everyone has a story to tell, everyone is a writer. Some are written in the books and some are confined to hearts. – Savi Sharma, Everyone Has A Story

With an early winter evening these days, with a cup of coffee and some good fiction reading I sit in my porch. During one of these evenings of solitude routine, I was reading the book of Savi Sharma titled ‘Everyone Has A Story’, I appreciate her art of moulding sentences and making us think about our story. I really wondered that day how much do we actually TRUST OUR STORY?! Is living like we want only a misconception? Well, I didn’t wanted “yes” for the answer.

Size a bit larger is important to exit normalisation. Though there is no doubt about the fact that average is perfection but why just be a performer when you are born to win and to have a well-deserved happily ever after! In the end of a life time don’t regret the choices you didn’t made and the dreams you didn’t fought for.

I was never sure what my purpose is and probably still I am not sure! It is a task of courageous to be one’s own superhero. It is funny how little things make me feel larger than life – the correct word, the most heartfelt song melody, the clearest messages, LOVE, and a novel to read by my window with coffee. If you are uncompromising, sarcastic, volatile, solitary lover, adventurous, monomaniacal, etc. Congratulations! You are indeed living a larger than life!

I do not wish to pursue any of my readers to be extravagant or overrate the materialistic but why we don’t rejoice acceptance to learn, leave or have mercy on ourselves with fewer disappointments. It is never too late to be who you might have been. We are not immortals but our story can be. Let the essence, our spirit, and all those of small things be immortalized by story we leave behind.

Don’t ask less for yourself and settle. You know why we admire superheroes; well I say we like them because of the drama, the stirring, larger-than-life aspect as the Kurt Busiek Quotes. It is never of how much we have, but how much we enjoy makes us happy. Not every-time the outcome is always what we desired but happiness is getting the lead role of life.

We are the heroes of our story; let’s decide to give ourselves a well-earned happy ending. Let the struggle of life be remembered as fights worthy won. Like larger than life, enjoy the cinematic and visual expression of what will make you laugh when recalling your life sitting in the lazy winter evening.

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When Nothing Goes Right You!

Life is series of unplanned and spontaneous turns or to say changes. Don’t resist them, for it will only bring sorrow and grief to frustrate you even more. So, when nothing goes right for anyone of us – what do we do, where we go and how to even make it work?

We all on a phase of life have unhappy circumstances and those fair shares of good, bad and ugly days. Life is not a journey depicting problem rushing in for solutions but reality lived with experiences. Like everyone does, probably I will recommend you to take a mini escape to travel or be off routine and do anything what you call your favorite. But are escapes a lasting or permanent solution to make things right. Though, there is no doubt about the fact every individual can and must have mini escapes but life is pathway better to have a road-map.

When nothing goes right for you do this – re-approach your plan, strategise and bring in more passion. One factor in your favor and you will be back on track. Tell yourself that so far your track record of passing through bad time is 100% and you have survived already.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”—Dale Carnegie

Document little chores, mark the tasks, and note precisely every small achievement on the long path of plan made. When nothing goes right, grab a coffee and corner table. Re-think where the plan went wrong, seek help and take everything you learned from the experience for using it to strategise a new plan for success. Whether it’s an emotional fight or fight for achievement that you feel you are failing, it is that moment you take responsibility for everything in your life. Be happy for little progress everyday being it a habit, a task completed or even a hello from your favorite person who you couldn’t give time too.

Strategise your life and determine what your definition of success is! It is then your accomplishments will be bigger than having wrong time mood swings.

There is always a way through very challenge we are facing right now; all we need a strong mindset focused on positivity and commitment we made to ourselves. With faith forward, we eventually reach to happy place.

When nothing goes right remember it is okay, it is just a place of struggle and struggle is another word of growth. The ones who don’t struggle are the ones who don’t grow. So, if you are struggling right now, see it is a terrific sign – celebrate your struggle! 

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Between what is Urgent and Important!

After writing on Time Management, I received any questions on how to solve the crucial trick of balancing the priorities, daily essentials and lack of time. Well, to this I use to answer it in a quote of Scott Caan, “Good Things Happen when you get your priorities straight.”

I believe timing is everything and you can’t do everything at same time. Hence, it is fair to schedule your priorities and not to prioritize the schedule. That’s where the real balancing act starts – first manage the important, it will directly decrease the lot of urgency. Instead daily increase in things to be completed- implement daily decrease by cutting away inessentials. We loose on the maintaining timings or day plans by spending much on urgent and not sufficient time on what is important. Things or activities important should never be kept the mercy of which matters the least in the specific time gap. A Scottish proverb taught me that what may be done at any time will be done at no time. Everyone in life has to make a conscious decision to choose their priorities every day.

Actually, what separates losers and achievers is the energy on the best use of the valuable given time. One should never lose the energy in what cannot be done rather invest on all possible deliverable of what can be done.

Do what Matters – NOW!

Our actions are governed by choices we determine in shape of priorities we set. This statement can be easily explained by saying that people must first do the duty near and path for next will be cleared automatically. The more I pen on priorities and time management or deciding on important tasks, my confidence on ancient rule of first things first increases. It is like a process which often decreases the complex human problems to manageable proportions.

No one will hand you an organisational chart. You hand it yourself.

Actually, people must never be scared of deadlines; they are not bad. They help us organize the time, set priorities, and make you run for goal set even when you feel laid back. Our journey of life we live is the summary of decision taken every day and those are determined by priorities. Establishing our priorities will save us from all getting into troubled waters of choices because we can delay but time will not. And remember,

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week!

Start and March on the Completion of the Tasks! Hazy View on the dilemmas or anxiety of ‘stuck zone’ will clear itself!

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Make A Life!

To that idea of Work-Life Balance, with so many sayings and articles on managing Work-Life Balance – let me tell you something straight that even when we win the rat race, well, we are still rats.

It is by attempting to reach the top at a single leap that so much misery is caused in the world.

 In this era of busy world, to prioritize between work and personal life is huge challenge. Even more challenging is being troubled by great ambitions. Though, one can’t achieve or even start something without ambition. But what creates chaos in mind and work life balance is dis-proportioned routine we follow. The fine line of difference lies in understanding your priorities and desires. Sometimes, we as Human confuse ourselves in our own unrealistic world which has no existence when applied. The fantasy of being in Howgarts and studying magic or rather being a multiple billion archaeologist like Tomb Raider; are we really being true to ourselves in understanding the surroundings we dwell in. What are we Humans running for when it comes to living?

Sense of achievement or desires is never ending quest. But, humans as rational being has we are, as always have found ways to succeed and be happy in life. Work made happy and gladly maintain the balance conceptualized about. Well, we have travel bloggers and communities like ‘stayonskill’ or ‘destinedtravellers’ and many more to name who are not billionaires by now but have more than million followers and are enrich by experience of various places around the globe. Entrepreneurs like Mr Vasu Mahajan, who is the founder of ‘Asia English Teacher’ which offers an Australian accredited and internationally recognized Certificate IV in TESOL. Fondly calls himself a BRAT (BACKPACKER, RIDER, and TEACHER) happily works around the Asia for 5 days and explores surroundings remaining days. Work-Life Balance never troubles them.

So, here is try to bring you people an acceptable definition of Work-Life Balance or making a life; it does not mean an equal balance. Life is and has to be more liquid (able to flow easily). The acceptance of the fact that your perfect individual work-life balance will vary from time to time, often on daily basis is important to do. Achievement and Enjoyment – simple it is. Walk easy and appreciate very small achievement.

Life will deliver the value and balance we desire. Divide your achievement and enjoyment in simple four parts: Work, Self, Family and Friends. All you need to do is focus on them as key components. So, make it happen for yourself and all important people of your life.

For rest of your life everyday achieve and enjoy!

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Stress! Why?

A human being is capable of doing anything but not everything!

As simple as this thought can be is rather as difficult as it can be to implement. To that ‘What If’ Statements that bring nothing but just is addition in hard times you facing. Many of us feel stressed not because we are taking too much of, but rather taking on too little of what really bring us strength and motivation.

So, here comes the real question, “The amount of stress that we take, is that really necessary?”

The actual problem with the Stress is that it makes us believe that everything has to happen and now.  Stress absorbs more than the physical health but even our hope, and beliefs. The amount of Stress that we take makes things go in million different directions. Every moment spend over stressing about the possibilities, the less time you will have to focus on actions that can actually control the circumstance or work you stress about.

One of the best piece of advice I ever got was from a horse master, he shared I should go slow to pace up and be fast eventually. So, there is no doubt about the fact a diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptional well. Hence, the art of controlling the stress and anxiety issues is adopting the right attitude to convert the negative into positive one.

Why Stress? Trust your Struggle!

I remember one exchange of words from J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“I wish…I wish I were dead…”

“And what use would that be to anyone?”

To deal with amount of stress you carry, all you need is a plan and an alternate one too. Have a road map and courage to walk on your destination. If you believe what you are doing will have a positive result, IT WILL – even if it’s not immediate and obvious. Our minds are well equipped to answer all our questions, we need to relax and wait for the answer. As one of the quotations of William James says, “The greatest weapon against stress is the ability to choose one thought over another”. In times of stress, it is best to keep yourself occupied with work you are carrying forth.  The determination should be to set peace of mind first and then organize the chaos around. Stress is nothing but just a gap of reality and expectations, one should accept everything and expect nothing.

Just few seconds of calmness over anxiety as nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing worth to diminish your health and poison self with stress, anxiety or fear. It is not the stress that kills anyone but reaction of it. Being content and happy is a choice. There is going to be stress in life, but the choice is ours. Key to deal stress is simple : count on blessings and be focused.

If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good! So, Stress, Why?

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Resist Change, Why?

Change is Nature, The Part We Influence. And it All Starts When We Decide!

If you don’t know to control what is going around, challenge yourself to control the way you responding to it. That challenge is Change. To define, it maybe uncertain or uneasy switches or process through which something becomes different. We all resist change. For us, it is the most baffling and intractable problem. Some resist thinking they will lose power or alteration in expertise or even be wrong in accepting the change as decision. In simple terms, surprise or fear of the unknown or failure make us resist change. But, we have to understand that life is a continuous succession of natural and impulsive changes. Resistance will only bring sorrow; let reality be it. Let things flow the way they like. Those who died yesterday had plans for today and those who died today had plans for tonight. This is why I love a quote of Socrates. He stated, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”.

Change comes in life to make us struggle forth. I think change is like seeds of seeing dreams. You want something more; you urge to think bigger or on another level in other you Change for good and better. Likewise, without seeds nothing grows and without change nothing can be innovated. Though, there is no doubt about the fact that how much we want things to be same but life is all about change. Sometimes it is for better or sometimes not so welcoming one. It doesn’t matter why anything in life is changing, the greater fact is God has indeed blessed us with power of memory but also blessed us with power of forgetting and letting go too. Whether it is failure in business or relationship, death of dear ones or even betrayal – holding onto past pain and hatred will only hold you backwards.

I don’t know whether you have realized this or not; that prayers does not change God but rather it changes us. It uplifts the feeling of belonging and make our spirits right. We have to learn to adoptive to nature and any circumstance. Life is succession of changes from cradle to grave, from growing up with intelligence which changes to wisdom. Rather for me, as life changes it gives me new things to write. Change is painful but as painful as being stuck to somewhere you feel you don’t belong.

Stop Being Afraid of What Can Get Wrong & Please be Excited to See What if all Goes Right!

Change is Law of Life and I trust you have come far not only to stay this far. Great things come when you learn to shade comfort zone. Change brings opportunity! Accept it!  

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Imperfections & Us!

To err is human!

All of us are quite aware about this quote and even use it often. Many to hide imperfection and others not to move on with mistakes, often state it. But why we the humans fail to understand we all make mistakes and they are very much part of our struggles as well as judgments that turn into experiences. Why do we make our imperfections and mistakes a big taboo? This form of our poor-decision making tend to become our destiny if we don’t realize that all we need to do is change, revise or renew out method or think pattern.

It is in favor for us to accept one simple fact that we can learn a lot from our mistakes everything expect one thing which is with obvious reason making mistakes again. Ad hence, there is no escaping from it. One should not transform an imperfection or mistake into a mark of failure. The real art is not moving on with mistake but change the step towards right understanding.

What we perceive as an imperfection in us is actually a gift. And gradually we realize these discouraging mistakes are of great worth. They are vital bridge from learning to attempt made finishing at wisdom. A person is never the same, people change, people grow. One can’t change even a single thing they have done, but can make decisions right now that drive us to the life we desire and curative we want. Keep in mind that changes is not a wish; you have to live the change which then takes the shape of reality. What makes life more interesting is surprise of errors we thought as lessons instead of losses.

Though, we can’t ignore one fact which is that it will be difficult to break the bars of imperfection too soon but one has to promise themselves to change which can be in form of adopting a new habit, new idea or notion, new set of laws but become something new if not better. Maybe it all starts the best by a simple shift. It’s not the destination which needs change or renovation but the direction does.

Even monkeys fall from trees. There isn’t anything good or bad about imperfections whether it’s beauty, body or intelligence level. Why to be at war with ourselves or anyone for that sake. Innovation and discoveries are made through mistakes. Imperfection in us should be treated as freedom to experiment, there is always a hope. Hope to improve, grow and nurture.

Embrace your imperfections! All of us have our own variants of imperfections; learn and forgive yourself; you will be a happier person.  

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Remembrance!

It is strange how people keep holding the pieces of the past while waiting for future?

One day while having conversation with a friend about one of his childhood photographs a word cloaked in my mind – Nostalgia. That sentimental longing or regretful affection of past which people often associate with fabled, and rosy painted time they feel can’t enjoy anymore. It is difficult to understand that why people look at their future with doubt and grief of moving on instead of walking with confidence to be in happier place than they were.

The past is a time frame of learning and thereafter letting go. You can’t always stay there, it disappears.

In entire lifetime we leave traces of ourselves in various moments which are worthwhile. That’s amazing how a rose from book or an old photograph stop your rushing life into slow and sweet ride to down the memory lane. Remembrance or Walk to Memory Lane must restore possibility to that earlier period, possibility of making all of it happen again. Instead of weeping on how happy your days were, work on that same model of happiness and make today brighter. People often let go happiness of today on loss made yesterday. While talking of this, I would like to quote one of the finest and my favorite liners of Thomas Edison – “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.  We have to understand that we will not be able to return to the place which no longer exists.

Psychologist Clay Routledge, who studies nostalgia at North Dakota State University, states that there are two types of nostalgia: autobiographical (a fondness for your own memories) and historical (a fondness for broader cultural ones). There’s this notion that younger generations stay connected to older generations because we pass down our nostalgia. It has to be associated with positive feelings, self-regard improvisation and for enhancing bonds with our loved ones instead of depressive and regressive state: being stuck in the past.

Any fraction of time you just lived and passed by was the best! Be HERE each day and enjoy what life gives. Let today be nostalgia for tomorrow and repeat this every day. Memories re-visit will be worth then. Surfing old photographs in good but sometimes. Let the old memories be mirror of your transformation.

The best moments are the ones we live fully, hence instead of holding on why not create new ones every day. Let your journey to the end of the day be precious and happier all time!!!

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The “Three Ps” of Effective Time Management

Planning. Priorities. Procrastination

To that limited, and scarce resource called TIME. You need time to get what you want out of life. One can accomplish more with less effort once sorted with time. We have to understand that we need to learn the technique which will direct your work or personal life instead of merely managing the time. A greater self-awareness of how currently you use your time is vital.

To make the best use of time follow these simpler rules – Decide that not everything can be accommodated in same time, Let Go – resist that temptation to do small, insignificant tasks too well, and outsource what you can. Time has two division of which one is clock and another is compass. The clock means your commitments, appointments, goals and schedules while the compass which signifies vision, values , principles and directions. The former states what we do and how we manage our time while the later is what we feel and how we lead our lives.

Now, towards the most dreadful time defect – PROCRASTINATION!

To understand the way of time effectiveness and our journey to Plan well our Priorities – Let’s comprehend, why do we procrastinate?

The foremost factor is confusion to flag off the task which means we don’t know where to start our task from, and second is avoiding our unlikable or difficult task. Next comes our fear for failure along with more wait for the extra information for the task which can be initiated without it. The extremely ignored one is our over-commitments – somewhere we tend to have so many things slotted in one day list. Clubbing all the tasks without priority set will become stressing and you will end up wasting a lot of valuable time and energy.

Here are the ways to beat Procrastination – Recognize when you are Procrastinating – we need to know when we start wandering off that’s the time when we have to hold ourselves back. The next is breaking inertia (lethargy). Divide big assignments into smaller manageable tenure bind tasks, and set that reachable goal. Always have a habit to reward yourself with non-procrastinating behavior and enjoy your freedom.

Sharpen the Saw! Renew yourself Regularly!
Put FIRST things FIRST. Prioritize, do the most important things FIRST!
Begin with an End in your Mind!

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