It’s Okay, I Understand!

To everyone who struggles either fighting yourself or the enemies you can’t see like the voices that swift unseen or whisper in ears; the darkness who feel within your heart; that anxiety or panic attacks. Today, I want to share about the importance of communication when it comes to mental illness sensed in oneself.

According to the statistics released by WHO Report in Times of India, not only do 56 million Indians or 4.5% of India’s population suffer from depression at this moment but another 38 million Indians suffer from anxiety disorders. Almost 7.5% of Indians suffer from major or minor mental disorders that require expert interventions. So, this article is to address everyone who is currently undergoing the process of diagnoses, medication, or are unable to understand what’s “wrong” with them and all they know right now is that they feel messed – Don’t be tempted to make sure you don’t make it through. Its okay, I understand!

What to do we need to do when in midst of chaos or feeling of social stigma? BE HONEST, ASK FOR HELP and most of all; don’t forget to ASK FOR LOVE. I truly realise that not every feeling can be talked about or even put to words. Tell yourself this – “It is rare and unusual but I can explain it”.

Also, I feel at times not everyone around us can explain it because they are thinking not being burdensome and that’s where social stigma enters in. People suffering from any anxiety, depression, pressure or even a hint of acute mood-swings don’t need an aggressive list of “to-do(s)” and “change-your-routine”.

People suffering NEED to understand and accept the fact that your loved ones will never ever regret saying “there for you” and you can’t do it on your own. Eventually you have to reach out and ask for help, if not psychiatrist but at least one of your own people. And you know what will happen then – they will not run away, laugh, hide or whisper but say “It’s Okay, I Understand!” Let your family or friends know that you are going through emotional chaos and have no idea why is that happening. Let them see your sickness and volunteer to help.

If you don’t understand what is wrong with you? Well, learn to realise what is right – That you have friends and loved ones who will guide you and help to discover what is wrong and never ever forget their kindness.

To everyone reading this article or even communicating the summary of this, please learn to open your heart and communicate feelings. When we can’t trust ourselves, we can trust people who love us! It’s not that you need to be fixed, but a pinch of optimism will make it right. Grow more comfortable sharing not only experiences but genuine feelings – Let you friends see you cry ugly; it is not a big deal!

 

0

Why? What So Wrong with Being Average?

Stephen Hawking quoted “One of the Basic Rules of the Universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist”.

This thought got me in the dilemma, rather made me realise that why we don’t have a growing appreciation for basic experiences of life. All of us I seem have confused ourselves between progress and perfection. It is important for people to transfer the attention and energy into striving for progress and grow instead of perfection. Because I really haven’t met a single human who even has got a “perfect” definition of “perfection”; I strongly stand in favor that there is less probability of perfection even existing.

I stand in the defense of being average about everything, why do even we get into the question of making everything so extra ordinary? Why is not being normal or content about things or individuality not appreciated?

The beauty of an average human being is that of doing everything in exact proportion nothing outdone or under-performed, just as it has to be. So, to the believers of perfection, I would want to put this question – is doing everything AS REQUIRED sign of imperfection?

Though there is no doubt about the fact that reaching new height, achieving goals, success and recognition is important. But I strongly believe one should not set unrealistic goals in life and question their own existence. The strategy to break-free or to say having satisfaction is first to sit back and take a note of what are you feeling and why. Note down all of the things that go in your mind that fears, failures, sense of imperfections, etc. without judging yourself. And honestly, let go any of vision you find blurry or not achievable. This may sound not that motivating but trust me it’s better to give up then planning an escape later. In rush of perfection and plans, we kill ourselves in pressure and forget the benefits of our individuality.

The attractiveness of average is having lower expectations, more security about self, and more happiness in what we are. Instead of reaching perfection, why not reach potential – maybe will outperform and break the chains.

My current philosophy says in favor of being average, I say, I will learn to measure myself through new versions like the pleasure of simple friendships, creating something, crafting the papers, riding a horse, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone I care about. Sounds normal, isn’t it? That’s because they are average and probably there is reason for them to be average. The reason is they are what actually matters.

Accomplish what you truly desire to Accomplish!

2

When Nothing Goes Right You!

Life is series of unplanned and spontaneous turns or to say changes. Don’t resist them, for it will only bring sorrow and grief to frustrate you even more. So, when nothing goes right for anyone of us – what do we do, where we go and how to even make it work?

We all on a phase of life have unhappy circumstances and those fair shares of good, bad and ugly days. Life is not a journey depicting problem rushing in for solutions but reality lived with experiences. Like everyone does, probably I will recommend you to take a mini escape to travel or be off routine and do anything what you call your favorite. But are escapes a lasting or permanent solution to make things right. Though, there is no doubt about the fact every individual can and must have mini escapes but life is pathway better to have a road-map.

When nothing goes right for you do this – re-approach your plan, strategise and bring in more passion. One factor in your favor and you will be back on track. Tell yourself that so far your track record of passing through bad time is 100% and you have survived already.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”—Dale Carnegie

Document little chores, mark the tasks, and note precisely every small achievement on the long path of plan made. When nothing goes right, grab a coffee and corner table. Re-think where the plan went wrong, seek help and take everything you learned from the experience for using it to strategise a new plan for success. Whether it’s an emotional fight or fight for achievement that you feel you are failing, it is that moment you take responsibility for everything in your life. Be happy for little progress everyday being it a habit, a task completed or even a hello from your favorite person who you couldn’t give time too.

Strategise your life and determine what your definition of success is! It is then your accomplishments will be bigger than having wrong time mood swings.

There is always a way through very challenge we are facing right now; all we need a strong mindset focused on positivity and commitment we made to ourselves. With faith forward, we eventually reach to happy place.

When nothing goes right remember it is okay, it is just a place of struggle and struggle is another word of growth. The ones who don’t struggle are the ones who don’t grow. So, if you are struggling right now, see it is a terrific sign – celebrate your struggle! 

3

Simply Summer!

It was one of the routine days at College; occupied with lectures, research and scheduled routine chores of work life. I get a message from a dear friend stating, “I NEED A BREAK, IT’S SUMMER ALREADY!” This statement of her gave me an alarm check stating that it’s time to leave! It’s Simply Summer!

Because as Mark Twain states – 20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do and I really do not only wish to make just money but memories too.

Vacation or off routine holidays are much in need for every single 21st Century individual, whether you are into corporate or an entrepreneur or you pretty much hype about enjoying work as an artist. I strongly believe that vacations and escape trips are so much more than off routine holidays; they are experiences which show what is possible and challenge us to examine that paths we will take in future as well.

From Bryan Adams’s Summer of ‘69 to Calvin Harris’s Summer Meeting or TVF’s New Web Series Yeh Meri Family: Summer of ‘98, we connect to all of them. Summer brings nostalgic waves of childhood at Family Home, first crush of teenage, or maybe that favourite grandmother song. Why just living in memories and cursing the life that we work hard for because we forget to summer breaks ourselves.

Let summer be the time when we shed our tensions and opt for mountains or beach whatever we more crave for and have a few of those days where we can be drunk with belief that all is right with the world.

LOOK AT THE SUNNY SIDE OF EVERYTHING! RUN TO MOUNTAINS AND CONNECT TO JOURNEY OF YOUR OWN OR DIVE IN OCEAN WATERS AND EXPERIENCE SOLITUDE.

You need not to be money man or super rich for any of this I believe. Not every escape is costly. I have my friends who are bikers and go mountains on trips (complains on not taking me along remains though) and are corporate employees with limited leaves to manage in. There are lot of tour planners, travel bloggers, explorers, etc. to aid us with very information we need. With an era of having world a click away, don’t miss upon exploring it yourself.

What it takes to smell summer breeze is a plan in advance and desire or a familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer. Let summer be simple, lesser of chaos and more of holidays.

THERE IS ALWAYS THAT ONE SUMMER THAT CHANGES YOU!

2

Between what is Urgent and Important!

After writing on Time Management, I received any questions on how to solve the crucial trick of balancing the priorities, daily essentials and lack of time. Well, to this I use to answer it in a quote of Scott Caan, “Good Things Happen when you get your priorities straight.”

I believe timing is everything and you can’t do everything at same time. Hence, it is fair to schedule your priorities and not to prioritize the schedule. That’s where the real balancing act starts – first manage the important, it will directly decrease the lot of urgency. Instead daily increase in things to be completed- implement daily decrease by cutting away inessentials. We loose on the maintaining timings or day plans by spending much on urgent and not sufficient time on what is important. Things or activities important should never be kept the mercy of which matters the least in the specific time gap. A Scottish proverb taught me that what may be done at any time will be done at no time. Everyone in life has to make a conscious decision to choose their priorities every day.

Actually, what separates losers and achievers is the energy on the best use of the valuable given time. One should never lose the energy in what cannot be done rather invest on all possible deliverable of what can be done.

Do what Matters – NOW!

Our actions are governed by choices we determine in shape of priorities we set. This statement can be easily explained by saying that people must first do the duty near and path for next will be cleared automatically. The more I pen on priorities and time management or deciding on important tasks, my confidence on ancient rule of first things first increases. It is like a process which often decreases the complex human problems to manageable proportions.

No one will hand you an organisational chart. You hand it yourself.

Actually, people must never be scared of deadlines; they are not bad. They help us organize the time, set priorities, and make you run for goal set even when you feel laid back. Our journey of life we live is the summary of decision taken every day and those are determined by priorities. Establishing our priorities will save us from all getting into troubled waters of choices because we can delay but time will not. And remember,

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week!

Start and March on the Completion of the Tasks! Hazy View on the dilemmas or anxiety of ‘stuck zone’ will clear itself!

0

Make A Life!

To that idea of Work-Life Balance, with so many sayings and articles on managing Work-Life Balance – let me tell you something straight that even when we win the rat race, well, we are still rats.

It is by attempting to reach the top at a single leap that so much misery is caused in the world.

 In this era of busy world, to prioritize between work and personal life is huge challenge. Even more challenging is being troubled by great ambitions. Though, one can’t achieve or even start something without ambition. But what creates chaos in mind and work life balance is dis-proportioned routine we follow. The fine line of difference lies in understanding your priorities and desires. Sometimes, we as Human confuse ourselves in our own unrealistic world which has no existence when applied. The fantasy of being in Howgarts and studying magic or rather being a multiple billion archaeologist like Tomb Raider; are we really being true to ourselves in understanding the surroundings we dwell in. What are we Humans running for when it comes to living?

Sense of achievement or desires is never ending quest. But, humans as rational being has we are, as always have found ways to succeed and be happy in life. Work made happy and gladly maintain the balance conceptualized about. Well, we have travel bloggers and communities like ‘stayonskill’ or ‘destinedtravellers’ and many more to name who are not billionaires by now but have more than million followers and are enrich by experience of various places around the globe. Entrepreneurs like Mr Vasu Mahajan, who is the founder of ‘Asia English Teacher’ which offers an Australian accredited and internationally recognized Certificate IV in TESOL. Fondly calls himself a BRAT (BACKPACKER, RIDER, and TEACHER) happily works around the Asia for 5 days and explores surroundings remaining days. Work-Life Balance never troubles them.

So, here is try to bring you people an acceptable definition of Work-Life Balance or making a life; it does not mean an equal balance. Life is and has to be more liquid (able to flow easily). The acceptance of the fact that your perfect individual work-life balance will vary from time to time, often on daily basis is important to do. Achievement and Enjoyment – simple it is. Walk easy and appreciate very small achievement.

Life will deliver the value and balance we desire. Divide your achievement and enjoyment in simple four parts: Work, Self, Family and Friends. All you need to do is focus on them as key components. So, make it happen for yourself and all important people of your life.

For rest of your life everyday achieve and enjoy!

5

Stress! Why?

A human being is capable of doing anything but not everything!

As simple as this thought can be is rather as difficult as it can be to implement. To that ‘What If’ Statements that bring nothing but just is addition in hard times you facing. Many of us feel stressed not because we are taking too much of, but rather taking on too little of what really bring us strength and motivation.

So, here comes the real question, “The amount of stress that we take, is that really necessary?”

The actual problem with the Stress is that it makes us believe that everything has to happen and now.  Stress absorbs more than the physical health but even our hope, and beliefs. The amount of Stress that we take makes things go in million different directions. Every moment spend over stressing about the possibilities, the less time you will have to focus on actions that can actually control the circumstance or work you stress about.

One of the best piece of advice I ever got was from a horse master, he shared I should go slow to pace up and be fast eventually. So, there is no doubt about the fact a diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptional well. Hence, the art of controlling the stress and anxiety issues is adopting the right attitude to convert the negative into positive one.

Why Stress? Trust your Struggle!

I remember one exchange of words from J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“I wish…I wish I were dead…”

“And what use would that be to anyone?”

To deal with amount of stress you carry, all you need is a plan and an alternate one too. Have a road map and courage to walk on your destination. If you believe what you are doing will have a positive result, IT WILL – even if it’s not immediate and obvious. Our minds are well equipped to answer all our questions, we need to relax and wait for the answer. As one of the quotations of William James says, “The greatest weapon against stress is the ability to choose one thought over another”. In times of stress, it is best to keep yourself occupied with work you are carrying forth.  The determination should be to set peace of mind first and then organize the chaos around. Stress is nothing but just a gap of reality and expectations, one should accept everything and expect nothing.

Just few seconds of calmness over anxiety as nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing worth to diminish your health and poison self with stress, anxiety or fear. It is not the stress that kills anyone but reaction of it. Being content and happy is a choice. There is going to be stress in life, but the choice is ours. Key to deal stress is simple : count on blessings and be focused.

If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good! So, Stress, Why?

3

The Art of Patience!

They say, “Good Things Come to Those Who Wait”. For Rome wasn’t built in a day! But I always end up thinking I can wait but for how long? There is a time in life where holding on does become difficult.  So, what you do? Well, I stick to being tolerant!

I think allowing life to follow its own natural course is better than forcing into things that are not in our hands. This will result in another level of stress, pain and anxiousness of not being able to accomplish things you wish for. In urge of wanting the success badly we need up ruining it even before it is about being – Over thinking, Worrying, or Doubting.  I believe that there are things in life that require more time than others would. One has to rethink the way we tackle our laid backs and pain.

Patience and Persistence have a magical wand before which difficulties disappears. In patience lies the wisdom. One moment of patience may ward off greatest of adversities and one moment of impatience may ruin one’s life.  I say, even the word happiness will lose its meaning if it was not with balance of sadness. Leo Tolstoy quoted in War and Peace that the strongest of all warriors are time and patience.  We generally misinterpret patience with doing nothing and being stagnant .Well, that’s wrong and gives nothing but more misery in holding on.

The true art of patience is not doing anything but constantly doing everything in your hand. It is all about how we wish to act while the wait. Patience when combined with persistence and perspiration makes one a successful. Patience is a form of virtue and one has to practice it instead of acquiring it. Practicing patience will make you pay attention on every detail. Everything easy was once difficult before patiently worked on.

There is a reason for everything, Being Patient and allowing time to unfold to tell the story is usually where the lesson is. Patience is acceptance that things can happen in a different manner than the one you thought in your mind. The idea of being patient is that when asked if your cup is half or full, well be grateful you have a cup and will eventually be full one day. The reception of reality and calm strategy to get in a better place is art of patience.  There is no road too long for the people who advance without undue haste and hold on.

Be Patient, Good Things Take Time! Even miracles take a little time to happen. Best things happen to those who believe. Though it is difficult to be patient but why waste the rewards of lessons and understanding for patience in worse. Everything will come to you in right moment. And till it comes, work for the best thing to happen. What’s meant to be will always find its way!

4

Resist Change, Why?

Change is Nature, The Part We Influence. And it All Starts When We Decide!

If you don’t know to control what is going around, challenge yourself to control the way you responding to it. That challenge is Change. To define, it maybe uncertain or uneasy switches or process through which something becomes different. We all resist change. For us, it is the most baffling and intractable problem. Some resist thinking they will lose power or alteration in expertise or even be wrong in accepting the change as decision. In simple terms, surprise or fear of the unknown or failure make us resist change. But, we have to understand that life is a continuous succession of natural and impulsive changes. Resistance will only bring sorrow; let reality be it. Let things flow the way they like. Those who died yesterday had plans for today and those who died today had plans for tonight. This is why I love a quote of Socrates. He stated, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”.

Change comes in life to make us struggle forth. I think change is like seeds of seeing dreams. You want something more; you urge to think bigger or on another level in other you Change for good and better. Likewise, without seeds nothing grows and without change nothing can be innovated. Though, there is no doubt about the fact that how much we want things to be same but life is all about change. Sometimes it is for better or sometimes not so welcoming one. It doesn’t matter why anything in life is changing, the greater fact is God has indeed blessed us with power of memory but also blessed us with power of forgetting and letting go too. Whether it is failure in business or relationship, death of dear ones or even betrayal – holding onto past pain and hatred will only hold you backwards.

I don’t know whether you have realized this or not; that prayers does not change God but rather it changes us. It uplifts the feeling of belonging and make our spirits right. We have to learn to adoptive to nature and any circumstance. Life is succession of changes from cradle to grave, from growing up with intelligence which changes to wisdom. Rather for me, as life changes it gives me new things to write. Change is painful but as painful as being stuck to somewhere you feel you don’t belong.

Stop Being Afraid of What Can Get Wrong & Please be Excited to See What if all Goes Right!

Change is Law of Life and I trust you have come far not only to stay this far. Great things come when you learn to shade comfort zone. Change brings opportunity! Accept it!  

3

Being Alive!

Paulo Coelho, a renowned writer once quoted that to die alive is to take risks; it is to pay your price!

This thought made me realize that why people have to have a special occasion to celebrate and be happy? Why Life is not made a celebration?

Being alive is indeed a special occurrence in itself. I used to worry about what life was for but now I have realized that living life and breathing free air is itself a sufficient reason. People should hold on to hope for better days even if they find their confidence being wounded or trust of being happens to be impaired. Sometimes we make being alive or happy for that sake so difficult. We start our day like a job we hate, daily chores for us is a place of war, we hate time machines so much that plan to break one everyday because somehow along the we have forgotten to stay alive, happy and healthy or for that sake any good idea which can be just a moment passing by. Being alive means find your purpose and embrace every moment.

Many people give in to the tough times; accept the life has a hurdle to cross instead of understanding how precious is to be alive. Why forget one simple fact that if we have got so far in journey of life and make it worth; it’s time to appreciate all of it.  In bad times remember to promote the feeling that we have everything needed for the journey called life. Life in itself is content, self-explanatory and complete. Without presuming, just experience all the experience of being alive.

Take every breath as an event in life. Have passion to live, urge to do something unconventional or off stream or just lay by a tree in garden or woods, experience little miracles in God’s creation – whatever you think makes you happy, content, and especially something that makes you get up in the morning. Dreams, ambitions, journey of every human are uncommon always but the most important part is the very purpose. The greatest treasure is realization of living your life, and having all stories of you happily ever after.

Never be embarrassed by ability of being expressive. Cry when you want, and dance when you feel like. Rather failure shed tears or laughing loud is like failure to live fully. Leave Earth with the spirit of being victorious in journey you dwell.  Remember, being lively or happy is as simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as heart – bitter, sweet but worthy to live.

People underestimate the wonder or the magic of being alive and therefore live and pass by. Endow yourself with emotions, memories, faith and wisdom! Experience the journey you are dwelling because being alive is not a just a gift but a privilege! Stay Alive!  

0

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑